"Why do you stay in the Church?" Frankly, it was a startling question for me making me wonder if the ambiguity I felt within was that obvious. The question was raised by a friend, one of many who have little to do with "organized religion" at this time in their lives, friends with whom I feel a certain freedom to share my own frustrations and concerns.
There is, of course, a certain ambiguity and tension in my experience of life in the Church. Indeed, for all of us there is likely to be a tension between the ideal and the real in any dimension of life. As humans we live between horror and hope, with the bad and the good, the frustrating and the freeing, the death and the rising. We live caught between earth and heaven within our experience of self, in our families, at work or school, in our political lives and, indeed, in our Church. Yet most of us do hang in; we remain faithful to our commitments and live with our questions and our frustrations. Why? How can we remain faithful?
My friend’s question was a fair one. An honest response to him and to myself can be an important element of spiritual growth. "Why do I stay in the Church?"
Where is the life? Where is the hope? Where - as we ponder Pentecost - is the experience of the Spirit?
There is life and hope and Spirit in our Church. In the midst of questions, frustrations, disappointments and fears, there is evidence of an abiding faith, hope and love. I find it especially in prayer and in the sacraments, moments of real and acute encounter with God. When the central focus is on God, in Christ, everything else comes into perspective. I find it in the commitment of our Church to justice and to the poor, in speaking out clearly and unambiguously on issues of life, of war and peace, of economic justice, in promoting the corporal and spiritual works of mercy. And all this not only in words, but also in deeds.
Perhaps the greatest hope comes in the grassroots experience of a faithful and compassionate Church: in pastors and people who live the Gospel day by day, who seek to do what is right, who seek God in worship and in their neighbor; in people who quietly visit the sick and shut-in; in people who serve in food pantries, homeless shelters, St Vincent de Paul ministries and a myriad of ways of reaching out to folks in need; in people who pay attention to the sick and who engage in active intercessory prayer.
I think of women who remain active and involved in the Church even when it seems that their gifts for ministry are underappreciated. I think of my mom, a divorced and remarried woman who remained close to the Church despite being marginalized by the rules of the day. I think of people - young people especially, but not exclusively, who ask honest questions and will not settle for trite, canned or easy answers. I think of people, particularly older people, who hunger for the Mass and for prayer. And, indeed, I find the life of the Spirit in those who blend a strong, traditional Catholic faith with a solid commitment to action on behalf of the poor and needy and voiceless.
There is life and hope and Spirit in our Church. As a human community it is not perfect, but it is that earthen vessel, fragile, perhaps cracked or damaged, that carries within it the precious treasure of Jesus Christ. The Church in the means through which we come to know Jesus Christ and His Gospel, whether through encounters with individuals, our grandmas and moms, mentors and pastors, family and friends or through the communal ministries of Sunday Liturgy, religious or day school education, or the witness of Christian outreach to those in need. Without the Church we would be ignorant of Christ.
"Why do I stay in the Church?" It would be easy to list the ways the Church falls short of what it should be. And we ought not be naïve about the reality that the Church as a human community is not perfect. But it does not help us grow in faith, hope and love to concentrate on negatives. The way to wholeness is to pay attention to where there is life, to where the Spirit is acting.
In the upper room, Jesus appears among the disciples with a word of Peace; he offers the gift of the Spirit, marked especially by reconciliation. Conviction that Jesus’ Peace and healing are real gives me the patience to live within the Church - not blind to its shortcomings, but alert to the signs of life.
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